Loss

Dealing with any kind of death whether it was your pet or your best friend, brother, father, sister, mother, your old teacher from elementary, even a person you met but never got close to. It sucks. Some more extreme then others but all starting with disbelief and anger then sadness and memories. Wishing you had another chance or more time with that person/animal . I've never had to deal with losing someone who I was unseparable with. I can't imagine.. I've lost a couple dogs, seeing one get ran over by a cellular van going 50 by my house even though she survived it scared te crap out of me. I was younger and didn't really think more than that. I lost my pepaw. A man that favored my brother over me cause he was a boy. But I still loved him, finding out the next year tore me up. But it wasn't as bad as I had thought.. Maybe because I was kind of angry. The most life changing was when my brother went off the highway. Me behind, his girlfriend driving. Speeding past me going probably 85-90 in a 65 zone. As they pulled in between cars and cut in front of me the car on the right in front pulled over as they were trying to zoom by.. I cringed and thought it was all over. Her car swerved trying to go back into the right lane since the other driver took over the left, having a slow reaction the car went back in the right cutting my brother and his girlfriend off again. Their tiny KIA couldn't handle the constant jerking, went off balance it's rear swerved, they spun around facing me then took off towards the median. Everything was so surreal. I came to a stop as the people from behind had already slowed. I knew my brother was dead. Gone. Forever. And he was suppose to ship out that Monday to the Navy. Instead of going through the fence and into oncoming traffic like I expected. Somehow she managed to turn coming back onto the interstate and directly home. I couldn't handle it, I pulled off and screamed my lungs out. My brother was dead, he couldn't be alive, how could they do that? Why? My brother is now safely gone in the military and I am now dealing with my boyfriend who lost his best friend.. I don't understand why so many people are dying. Nor can I understand why i feel like someone close to me is next... But I'm scared to think how vulnerable we as humans are and how much we take for granted. Treat your mother right, respect her, treat whoever you love or know with care, love and respect cause we never know if we'll have another day.